haha, another one of the spears clan fucked up!

I can't stand this anymore. now, ya'll know i LOVE britney spears, but what ya'll didn't know is that i LOATHE jamie lynn, whos only SOMEWHAT famous because of her older sister.

and now.... shes pregnant! and she wants to tell it to the world!

you know, REAL 16 year old try to hide the fact that they're preggers. nope, not jamie lynn, she even has a six page spread in OK! magazine. which is most likely the most pages she'll ever recieve in a magazine.

i can't wait to read this article and weep-from laughing my ass off. im sorry to all the jl fans out there... well.... not really.... but i dont think shes a star. at all. youre not a star if youre only on a CHILDRENS show.

oh... and her quote on premarital sex?

"I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait, but I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."

hold on, hold on... wait... WHAT?! why the hell does she think she has ANY right to say premarital sex is bad?! because she's a "celeb"? oh my gosh, honey, you wouldn't be anywhere NEAR where youre at now if it werent for your big sissy. if she DEFINITELY doesn't think you should do it, when what gives her the magical right to do it anyway? did she think she was infertile until her body was ready because shes a godly celebrity? and God loves celebrities SO much, that hes sitting up there thinking, okay, well, she wont get pregnant.

give me a break. and then she says she going to raise her kid in her hometown, so the baby can have a "normal" life. please. the only thing normal about that kids life is taking a shit.

and whats really depressing, is how everyone is "aw, omg, poor jamie lynn, she made a mistake, lets help her out"

if you lived outside of some fantasy land your sister created for you, peoples first view of you is "shes a whore", and your life would be over.

but, nope, i keep forgetting that the spears' dont exactly LIVE in the real world. i, personally, think jamie lynn should get a huge slap to the face. but her community is used to it, "oh, we have 13, 14 year olds running around with kids"

....what....the....fuck.....

that town has REALLY got some issues. they all deserve a slap to the face. and get this: one resident said, "next time, use a condom"

as if to laugh off the pregnancy and say, "we're letting you off, but next time..."

my readers, we are living in one fucked up society. and we're, once again, showing that celebrities are amazing people who dont do anything bad.

until next time....

sources:

http://www.vh1.com/news/articles/1578525/20071222/index.jhtml

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071219/ap_on_en_tv/people_jamie_lynn_spears_2

I lost my best friend :'(

well,yours truely got into an accident on Friday. a car accident. and now.....well..... the trusty bitch mobile may be.... totaled.....

and what really sucks is that nothing cool happened like, massive engine damage.

no.

the guy just HAD to hit the PERFECT spot to completely SCREW up one of the best cars i could ever possibly own.

want to learn the story?

alright.

so i was heading to school. and running late. which makes me mad. cause if i wasnt running late, i could have avoided it all together. or if i didnt rush and took the time to put my contacts in, also.

anyway. the stop sign thats right by my house is where the accident accured. and old man ran that stop sign. and hit my car.

dirving the minute it took back to my hosue was hell

i pretty much cried the whole time. and then had a panic attack. oh yea

fun times.

so now im out a car, its getting inspected tomorrow.... and i might not have the bitchmobile anymore.

and i deleted the pic i have on my computer, and i dont feel like going through my buttload of images on photobucket, so youll just have to wait. ill post a special blog with all pics of me posing in and around my car, too.

yea, im a model.... lol

something interesting happened!

FINALLY! something neat has happened!!!! andrea and i will be having a photoshoot this saturday! total excitement, right?

we met a photographer who was loking to rebuild their portfolio because his computer crashed and he lost all of his work. so he moved back to sacremento (he lived in la), and posted an ad saying he was looking for models to recreate his portfoilio. its a free gig from both sides, which i dont really care for, because out of the 500 shots we will have taken of us on saturday, we will have about 30 portfoilio quality shots.. which is good. because getting a professional headshot and body shot done is EXPENSIVE!

After i get those pictures I will potst them for all of you to see!

and I'll be making link buttons so you can spread the word!

Another neat thing..... i have a job interview at sears tomorrow at 5!

its been awhile

but im not dead!

ive jsut been busy being out of town and what not.

and nothing really eventful has gone down in awhile.

but!


i went to youth group for the first time ever tonight. it was great!

im totally excited for next week!

its nice to finally be surrounded by people with the same beliefs as you.

i even got tackled!


until next time, when my adventurous life kicks up again....

santa, and retarded pet owners

so on my way to the mall, i had a good time.

seems as though today was "lets drive like fucken retards!"

almost got into an accident or two. maybe three.

but what really got me is getting on the freeway to go to the mall was this guy in a four door pickup getting on the freeway. what a douche.

for one. he had his dog in the bed of the pickup.

two. the dog had no means of restraint. not even a leash.

three. he was on the goddamn FREEWAY. what insensitive prick would do that to a dog? especially when theres all the storiess of dogs getting seriously injured or killed.

the safest place for a dog is at home. and if you HAVE to take them somewhere. put them in the cab of your truck. dotn want to get your precious truck "dirty"? then put a fucken blanket down.

too many dogs get hurt everyday due to insensitive assholes like this guy.

and santa drives a shitty little minivan and parks like an idiot.

i saw him today. i parked next to him.

that beard is not fake.

goodbye

Dear Chico High Band,
wow. these past few years have been a blast, but i just cant do it anymore. the waking up at 6, having to take showers a night because i dont have enough time to take them in the morning. and the whole, "yea, the entire school gets to sleep in an extra hour, but you guys still have to be there at 7:30" thing is just.... no. two hours of practice? i dont think so. not when youre a brass player with the smallest mouthpiece. fuck that. and the constant freaking out of your head honcho because something that sounds simply amazing to others still isnt "perfect" to him. so you ahve to play the same 3 measure over
and over
and over
and over
and over
and over
and over
and over again.
and then, when it sounds good enough....
"oh, lets play it a few more times. muscle memory. practice makes perfection."
im a dancer, anyway. and hopefully, with enough HOME training, a singer.
and what REALLY gets to me? the fact that when it comes time for chair tryouts, a certain biased asshole decides that, "hey, even though my student is a shittier player than another player, im going to have my student be a few chairs higher while the better, more experienced student gets last chair. again."
ive talked to veteran members of your band, and its the same story every year.
don't get me wrong, its been a great three years. but, well. i just cant do it anymore.
thanks for the 10 extra elective credits, it allows me to ahve a free period first period... more sleep!
sincerely,
the pissed off tired of it all musician whos going solo

Alright!

so i finially figured out the linky thingy thing for my page! im still creating blogs adn adding links, findingdifferent things. im hoping that this will cause some organization to my blog.... but, welll.... knowing me. itll be a big mess. but its worth a shot!

any ideas of blog catergories? send me a nice email here. hopefully that link worked....

ah, the wonderous world of makeup

you can never have too much of it.

and guess what i did in my random act of boredom?

ORGANIZED IT!!

yea, it takes three makeup cases to keep it all nice and organized

so....

the foundation was in one box...

the eyeshadow was in the other box...

and the stuff for eyes, lips, and the "equipment" in the last one!

most definitely a happy camper right now.

yes, that is all the makeup i own. well, some of it has disappeared, so technically i have more

i was going to count it all but i changed my mind.

that was my fun adventure to the day.

hope you enjoyed it

the new drug: pissy shit fumes!

so what's the drug of choice for high school students these days?

their own fermented shit!

yupp, apparently the drug thats all the rage is a little thing called jenkem. it originated in africa and various other third world countries. theres a gas that, when inhaled, the after effect is that of cocaine, but with much stronger hallucinations.

and what produces this gas?

and....

yea, isnt that just sexy? and we havent even gotten to the good part yet.

jenkem is created by putting urine (piss) and fecal matter (shit) into a bottle or jar, and covering the opeing with, most commonly, a balloon. the pissy shitty mix is then placed into a sunny area for hours or days. the point here is to wait until the lovely combination is fermented. when it ferments, it separates and releases a gas which is capture in the balloon.

yum!

and guess how easy it is to take it?

once you ingest the gas from your fermented shitpiss, the effects take about 10 seconds to hit, and the most severe hallucinations happen within 20 minutes. typically, after the gas is ingested, the person silly enoguh to inhale their own shit passes out, and the hallucinations his before you get the chance to realize what the fuck happened (within seconds). the high has been described as being "out of it" and talking to dead people.

fucken trippy.

the feeling of being "out of it" can last anywhere between several hours or several days. people who have tried the drug have disliked the taste of poo thats left in their mouth after taking the drug, and the poopiness can last for up to a week.

i wouldnt like the taste of shit in my mouth, either....

want to hear some fun slang?

winnie, shit, runners, fruit from crak pipe, lermy jenkems, might, butthash (my favorite), and waste

so now youre educated on butthash. and no, im not going to do an experiment with this one. poo belongs in the toilet, not my mouth.

billies cheap beauty thingy things, part one

so until i get this figured out, this little neat section of the hollywood life is dedicated to me finding cheap, homemade beauty remedies, and then becoming the guinea pig.

for starters, i decided to kick it off with an aspirin face mask! yay. i had found a site that told em how to do this, and i decided to try it out tonight and let you guys know how it went.

so, it told me i needed:

a small bowl, 5 aspirin, a spoonful of water.

so my obedient ass went out and got it before i took my bath.

after my bath, i crushed the aspirin. i honestly felt like lindsay lohan, except im not a redhead and my bathroom is much cleaner that the public restroom floor she was using. did i say that? oopsies.

so i crushed up my friend the aspirin, and i didnt feel like it was enough so i got two more. making my grand total 7.

since i had a little bitty plastic spoon that water did not want to stay on, i put 2-3 spoonfuls of water in my little mixture.

once that was done, i rubbed it all up on my face. the feeling was odd. like a really cheap exfoliating mask. oh, wait, thats what it was!

so the little "recipe" says to wait 12 minutes, or until completely dry. i waited 15, and decided that the mess that was coming off my face told me that the grainy aspirin exfoliating mask was dry enough.

so i went to wash it off. and let me say, right after you have little red splotches where the zit(s) was/were getting attacked, and the rest of your face looks paler than usual, but your skin is super soft!

between a few hours to a day, youre face will glow, your skin tone evens out, and those zits will go away. hopefully.

i will post an update tomorrow, and let you know how my face looks after the completed process

my suggestion?

do it. just not before a hot date, unless you plan on fucking up all that extra work you had to do by crushing up more pills than you thought you wouldve had to crush for the day.

but this time, you smeared it on your face, not shot it up through your nasal cavity

good night.

the lost of a best friend, maybe two, and a bad practice

ugh, where to begin. today wasnt all that great. arguing with my dad nonstop, getting pissy at family that i never see, a bad guard practice, losing my best friend(s). twirps is coming up in a week, and i have done NOTHING to prepare for it. bleck.

so, really, first thing is that it sucks losing a best friend. this kid is my best guy friend, he even towers over the girls sometime. i can trust him like no other, and i said something that didnt seem like a big deal to me and my other people, but it hurt him. i guess it wasnt what i said, it was how i said it. still, i didnt realize that i had any tone in my voice, i believe i was just stressing because there were 230 kids squeezed into 3 classrooms. and im claustrophobic.

so he told me he needed a "break" from our friendship. and i didnt really understand why until i talked to another friend about the events of friday. and i dont know, the stress and drama of school have just built up and built up, and i did something that im already regretting and i typically dont do: i gave up.

hopefully this will all blow over. but if not....

buddy, and you know who you are. youre an amazing person. youve been there for me through a lot, and through each other weve learned more than we could possibly learn about people and society's affects on them. you give one hell of a comedic act, and i know youre not a fake friend that im sure is sneaking around somewhere. i dont want to lose my best friend, and im not tired of hearing, "i want a break". im tired of hurting you constantly, either with what i say or what i do. i sure as hell could use a friend like you, but from the looks of it i dont think that will happen...so im sorry for what ive put you through. im hoping that this is just a silly little riff and we'll soon realize our childish mistakes and come out of it with a relationship that was stronger than ever before.

winterguard. ah, yes. tonight was an off night. if you didnt hear, i was in a car accident this past thursday and luckily walked away from it with bruises and a minor concussion. i wasnt allowed to do anything that could hurt my head for a week, but since my dad felt that i did an okay job at fridays football game, i could spin tonight. so, after not practicing for like, a week (lesson plans on top of the accident and kicking off winter exhibitions), tonight was off for awhile. i got stressed because i hate messing up, and i snapped at a few people because well, i dont feel like getting into it. lets just say that i obviously knew i was messing up and didnt need people telling me.

so i have a feeling this next week will be a stressful one. so if i get angry towards anyone, its just my fucked up mind issues and all should be well soon. i should figure out my "cycles" (im slightly bipolar) and forewarn all the people closest to me when a little "bout" of mine will occur.

i should also get my stupid period figured out, too. that may help.

im done venting. im going to go take a warm bath and work on my fucked up nasty pedicure and my disgustingly dry and white legs.

great, i just spilled cup noodle broth on myself.

thought this was blog worthy...

I decided that its time to add a little more variety to this little place where i can just go crazy on any subject i talk about.

so im putting little splashes of adult humor on this little shindig!

http://img.tapuz.co.il/forums/20208414.htm

50 beautiful things to do with vaseline

i love vaseline, its my new favorite beauty product. and i have some tips that all you beauty concious women like me can use!
vaseline is cheap and is better than just about any beauty item i own!

1. Put a coat on your eyelashes before you go to bed. Lots of people swear by this - and say it will make your lashes grow longer and thicker over time.
2. Put a coat of vaseline on your feet at night, cover them with socks and wake up to softer feet - every day!
3. Put vaseline on your elbows every day - they will stay soft!
4. Put Vaseline on your cuticles several times a day for softer and better looking cuticles every day.
5. Put Vaseline on chapped lips
6. Use Vaseline as lip gloss
7. Mix a little vaseline with a little Kool-Aid powder and make a colored and flavored lip gloss!
8. Melt vaseline and one chocolate chip in the microwave, mix and let resolidify for chocolate lip gloss!
9. Maintains perfume scent longer when applied at perfume points before spritzing the perfume.
10. Can be used as a moisturizer for acne sufferers (it is a misconception that it clogs pores)
11. Moisturizes severe dry skin
12. Use Vaseline on your knees to prevent that dry, ashy look
13. Mix with sea salts to make a scrub!
14. Applying Vaseline on your teeth prevents lips from sticking to teeth for celebrities and contestants in beauty pageants who smile a lot
15. Applied on teeth before applying lipstick prevents lipstick from sticking on them
16. Massage, baby!
17. Warmed up can be used as a night cream
18. Makeup remover
19. Protects skin exposed to adverse weather
20. Applied under eye shadow it can create a shiny effect
21. Applied on cheeks for a dewy look
22. Can be used to smooth and soothe skin after shaving
23. Used in manicures under cuticles
24. Gets rid of dry skin lines which can arise from washing
25. Lubricates ear lobes and helps to make earring insertion easy and painless
26. Keeps fingernails pliable and resilient
27. Use with your lipstick to create a cream blusher for your cheeks
28. Helps to ease off stuck on rings
29. Tames unruly eyebrows
30. Defines eyelashes and leaves them with a glossy and waterproof look
31. Conditions scalp pre-shampooing
32. Can help prevent chaffing
33. Aids with healing after cosmetic surgery procedures
34. Reduces scaling and itching associated with dandruff
35. Theraputic when applied to lesions caused by poison ivy
36. Can help improve condition of those with atopic eczema
37. Helps heal and protect new tattoos
38. Can protect against harmful hair dyeing, perming and straightening chemicals when used as a mask around the hairline
39. Use a tiny dab to put a quick shine on your shoes and bags
40. Smear a tiny bit on your hands and scrunch through your hair for a choppy look
41. Use just a touch on the ends of your hair to hide dry and split ends
42. Remove makeup stains from clothing
43. Rub Vaseline on the neck of your nail polish bottles and they won’t get stuck to the caps
44. Make your week old nail polish look new again - rub a small dab over the polish.
45. Use a touch of Vaseline mixed with powder eyeshadow pigment to make new colors, or a more solid eyeshadow that won’t get all over your face when you put it on.
46. Stretch your favorite lotion by mixing it with Vaseline.
47. Put Vaseline on your lips, leave it a few minutes, then scrub your lips with a toothbrush to exfoliate and leave them SO smooth
48. Remove false eyelash glue from your lash line
49. Apply a small amount on dry spots on your body before fake tanning lotions are applied, and prevent uneven tanning!
50. Generously apply Vaseline all over before taking flights to combat associated dryness

JIGGUH WHAT?! DUMBLEDORES GAY?!?!

earlier this week, j.k rowling, the author of the beloved magical series "harry potter", told fans at a book signing that she believes that if dumbledore was an actual human being (no, hes not real, im sorry to break it to you guys), then he would be.....

homosexual!


now that rowling has helped dumbledore come out of the closet, its cause a heated debate. a lot of people think its a good thing that such a lovable character from such a popular book is gay, because it teaches children to be "tolerant". others who are homophobes think its a bad idea for obvious reasons.




i say its stupid. very very stupid.

i mean, hes a FICTIONAL CHARACTER! yea, some fictional characters ARE gay, but the authors at least make it known. rowling COULDVE potrayed him to be more flamboyant, but no.

and how do you explain homosexuality to a young child? between the birds and the bees and how magic isnt real?


i think its silly. im going to go on believing that my favortie dumbly is a straight man.


to be honest, i think now that the series of hp is over, shes only doing it for more fame.... i love rowling to death, but i dont know. shes famous enough, she doesnt need to get any more fame. i dont want to see her get ruined like *other* celebs.

"Blackout" - Britney Spears

Ah, yes, britneys popped out an album like it was her third child. her first in 4 years. and i believe its her best. its more club music than her typical "oh my god im so innocent" crap she used to put out. i think she's finally come to terms with the fact that shes grown up. you know how parents get about their youngest? they have a hard time accepting the fact that they arent little anymore? well, i think spears is the same way, except in some mind incest form. shes the child and the mommy. weird, yes, i know.

dont get me wrong, im head over heels in love with M(r)s. spearsalexanderferderline, and i absolutely ADORE this album, which is why im blogging about it, starting with track one (gimme more) to track 12 (why should i be sad). so, lets get started on tearing apart spears'the commando going, club hopping, bald artist's most anticipated album?

Gimme More

this song.... EVERYBODY knows THIS song! who cant resist spears saying "more" in different random voice changers? i would LOVE to be her, just so i can prove to everyone im not fake ALL the time.

okay, we all know im just kidding. words can't really describe this song. what i thought i loved about it was the fact that shes kinda showing that she accepts being in the spotlight, which is bitchen. but then i discovered her next song....

Piece Of Me

Hah, new favorite song right here! i can REALLY relate to this song. a lot. new myspace song right here. just take a sneaky peek at the lyrics:

I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17

Don’t matter if I step on the scene

Or sneak away to the Philippines

There still gon' be pictures of my derrière in the magazine

You want a piece of me?

You want a piece of me...

I’m Miss bad media karma

Another day another drama

Guess I can’t see no harm

In working and being a mama

And with a kid on my arm

I’m still an exceptionAnd you want a piece of me

I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the rich and famous

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. Oh my God that Britney’s Shameless

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. Extra! Extra! this just in

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. she’s too big now she’s too thin

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. ‘You want a piece of me?’

Tryin’ and pissin’ me off

Well get in line with the paparazzi

Who’s flippin’ me off

Hopin’ I’ll resort to some havoc

And end up settlin’ in court

Now are you sure you want a piece of me?

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. ‘Most likely to get on the TV for strippin’ on the streets’

When getting the groceries, no, for real..Are you kidding me?

No wonder this panic in the industry I mean, please, do you want a piece of me?

I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the rich and famous

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. Oh my God that Britney’s Shameless

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. Extra! Extra! this just in

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. she’s too big now she’s too thin

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17

Don’t matter if I step on the scene

Or sneak away to the Philippines

There still gon' be pictures of my derrière in the magazine

You want a piece of me?

You want a piece, piece of me...

You want a piece of me?

I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the rich and famous

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. Oh my God that Britney’s Shameless

(You want a piece of me)I’m Mrs. Extra! Extra! this just in

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. she’s too big now she’s too thin

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the rich and famous

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. Oh my God that Britney’s Shameless

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. Extra! Extra! this just in

(You want a piece of me)

I’m Mrs. she’s too big now she’s too thin

(You want a piece of me)

Oh yeah

You want a piece of me

hah. i just adore these lyrics. shes finally putting her foot down and pretty much telling people to fuck off in her pop star way. britney, honey, you are far from innocent little popstar, although these lyrics are a step nin the right direction. the lyrics that stand out the most to me are the chorus. almost every girl feels this way at some point in her life. which is great.

and least we can be reassured that britney is still a role model to young girls, and shes still using her music as a way to connect. to be honest im thinking now shes aiming to those 12 year old skanks and teenagers.

Radar

hah. so im embedding this stream of the album on my myspace. i can absolutely relate to just about every song on this album, this one expecially. the beginning lyrics really stand out to me. gosh im such a silly little girl. this song is a very different beat. more upbeat uh.... beat. i guess. and yea. pretty much the songs to listen to are gimme more (which im sure youve heard by now), piece of me, and radar. lets continue our journey!

Break The Ice

alright, so im going to be making the song reviews shorter, im running out of time. i hate to admit it, this song isnt really my favorite, but the way britney sings her lyrics and the beat make me happy inside. Shes finally become a damn talented artist.

Heaven On Earth

AHHHHHH! BRITNEY FINALLY MADE A "TECHNO"-TRANCE (mostly trance) SONG!!!!!! YES!!!!

alright, so this songs cute. im in love with the beat. im not sure if i like the way her voice sounds. maybe itll grow on me. im not liking to voice overs. but, this is the bisexualness coming out, when shes whispers, its hott. like, really really hott. id go lesbian for her. just so she can whisper sweet nothings into my ear late at night.

Get Naked (I Got a Plan)

so i dont like this song. at all. the beginning guy sounds like hes de dah de. and im not a fan of the beat. it sounds liek a frankenstein mix of sexy back and gimme more. okay, im through with this song. ew. yuck. so i started liking the middle of the song. thats about it..... NEXT

Freakshow

so this song instilled some faith back into my little bitty brain. but not much. i like her voice in the song. and the beat. i love just about every beat in this damn album, seriously. but, heym maybe this next song will make me love the album again....

Toy Soldier

yea, my hopefulness was right. i adore this song. another must listen song. im not really sure how to explain this song. i just like it. it makes me happy to know i like britney spears. i love how these went to a ful page to a paragraph to a couple lines.

Hot Like Ice

i like this song. it seriously makes me want to dance like a maniac. crazily. even though her voice is a little bitty anoying. which is why it makes me want to dance like a complete idiot. man im getting tired of this.

Ooh Ooh Baby

i love this song. a lo. it reminds me of a rihanna song, or a song from the 70s. not sure what ones... but im pretty sure i love all three of these song conflicts!!!!

Perfect Lover

two words: love it! its perfect if youre in one of those lusty relationships. totally. yea okay. one more song. and then i can go to bed.

Why Should I Be Sad

dont like it. at all. dont even want to write about it. my least favorite song.

Bottom line: great album, songs to download: Gimme More, Piece of Me, Radar, Toy Soldier. even though i was skeptical at first, im a firm believer in her.

im off to watch chris crocker cry about britney spears.

Pissing Glitter

Yea, here's the first post. hooray. Ill post more later....